I suffer from depression. Phew. You have no idea how hard it's been for me to get to the point where I can say that out loud. It's been a journey, to say the least. I suffered from it for 4 years before I even knew that that's what it was. And now I've been working on overcoming it for the last 2 years. I have my good days and bad, and thankfully the bad days have been few and far between for the last few months. I don't know whether anyone will ever even read this blog, but I thought that this would be a good way for me to get my thoughts written down, and it would actually be cathartic.....like a cleansing process.
A few things that I have learned along the way.....
Be grateful-- practice being grateful every day. Wake up every day and choose to focus on how blessed you are, rather than focusing on all the negative, and what you don't have. I just heard a new country song on the radio today that has a great message. The message is that "Life isn't Fair". Your first instinct on hearing that is to think about how many trials, injustices, hardships have been a part of your life....am I right? But that is not what the song is talking about. The musician sings about a few of the bad things he has done in life, and yet for whatever reason has been blessed in spite of those things. He doesn't feel deserving of all the good things he has, but he is so grateful anyways. He says life isn't fair, because if it was, he wouldn't be as blessed as he is. He recognizes grace in his life. I am so grateful for the Savior's Atonement, and how His grace lifts me up and gives me strength beyond my own to make it through the hard times. I am weak on my own, but with Him, "I can do all things" (Phillipians 4:13). I am in awe at how blessed my life is. Life is so so good.
Think positive thoughts! Let go of all the negative thoughts that are in your head. This has been a tough one for me. I have been very critical of myself in the past, and really beat myself up for my mistakes and shortcomings, but I am learning to let go of those thoughts, and instead tell myself, "I am enough". I am not perfect, nor will I ever be in this life, but I am trying. Every day is a blessing! I wake up so grateful to have another day on this Earth to pick myself up and try again-- try to be a little bit better than I was yesterday.
Find joy in the journey. It is a very good thing to set goals and work every day on achieving them, but it's important to remember to not get caught saying to yourself, "I'll be so happy when I get to my goal weight......I'll be so happy when my kids are all out of diapers....I'll be so happy when I buy a new house.....I'll be so happy when we can afford to get a new car.....". The list could go on and on. Choose to be happy now! Enjoy today...right now. Live for today! Let go of the past, and don't stress about the future....live in the present. So much joy can be had if you look for it. Like today, for instance, I am happy because I chose to pack a healthy lunch to take with me while I was running errands. And while I was sitting in the Walmart parking lot, eating my prepared lunch, I looked over at McDonald's across the street (which is where I would've ended up eating lunch if I hadn't packed one, let's be honest), and was proud of that little success of mine. Don't overlook your small successes, because those everyday small successes accumulate over time to being exactly how you meet your big goals. AND...when I got home from running my errands, I was so tired and wanted to take a 30 minute nap before my kids got home from school. But then I noticed that my living room floor really needed to be vacuumed and mopped, so I did that instead. See? Another little success for the day.
Life is good!
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